The Happy Mess Project

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4/6 - Parenting by Profile with Human Design - Notes from The Cartography course

How to use those notes

If you haven’t yet, I’d highly recommend you read the introduction for this collections of notes that is in this post. This is also where you’ll find the index for all the profiles and a gathering of all the notes for each line so you can get a fuller picture for your child’s profile.

✨ Parenting a 4/6 ✨

Practical take-aways from the section :

  • expect difficult bonding when young, help them be patient [6]

  • provide solid education for a solid externalizing [4]

  • expect chaos [6]

  • expect a long nurturing time [4]

    Bonds can be devastating for the first 30 years of a 6th line & 4th lines need a solid education for their externalizing

    “If you're a 4/6, when you're a child, you're really a 4/3. So what that means is that at the unconscious level, you've got a theme of bonds made and broken rather than soulmate or not. So of course, what happens to you is that you begin by naturally being attractive to others in terms of your friendship capacity. But that part of you that says, “Leave me alone”, and that part of you resonates to that unconscious third line thing. In other words, it makes it very easy to break the bonds. So this is a child that has a different best friend every other day. In other words, they can go to school, and they can go through all kinds of different relationships.

    And of course, breaking the bonds of those relationships, something inside of it, that they're not finding. And again, remember what happens to them, because it's fourth line, because it's opportunist. If they don't wait to make the new friends, if they just leave one friend behind, it's going to get more and more difficult as they go along to actually build a friendship with anyone, even though they're attractive to the other. So they go through this theme, and of course, the third line theme at the unconscious level is pessimism, not the optimism of the sixth line. Remember that all six lines go through this transition in their life from being inherently pessimistic, in the first 30 years to finally finding their optimism.

    And of course, again, their optimism comes from the moment of disengagement. So they have that opportunity to be able to see that there are possibilities that they're out of the morass.

    But the 4/3 child is deep in the morass. So this confidant or not, what happens to them is that they end up making a friend, they end up being the confidant, the bond is broken. And then whatever they said to that friend, can get carried in the wind around them. In other words, basically, what happens is that they can end up with a lot of negative energy focused on them, because you see, they are inherently attractive, you want to make friends with the fourth line, you just do. It's a natural thing. Remember, our auras do the talking, the fourth line puts the person puts their aura inside of you, they automatically open you up to friendship automatically.

    So you have a lot of disappointed people with the 4/6 when they're young, because they don't get the kind of bonding in that friendship that they expect. And that 4/3 in that stage of its life, it will quickly break a bond when it doesn't get its opportunity soon enough. Those opportunities begin with after all, as a 4/6, what they want to be able to do is they want to be able to externalise the foundation. You know, “my mother says…”, “My father says…” as a child, you know, they want to get the foundation out, this is the way things are, they will say it.

    And yet at the same time, they will discover that there is resistance with others after all, the third line will bring people into their lives that aren't necessarily the right kinds of friends for them. This is a “bumping into” theme and they will be challenged in terms of what their authority really is they're going to be challenged in what's fixed in them and they're not going to like that. Their response to that is “leave me alone” and “break the bond”. But it also creates a pessimism at the unconscious level that they become uncomfortable with what that foundation really is, they become uncomfortable with whether or not that foundation is really secure.”

    Honoring the change of dependency time frame of the 4th line

    “And finally, the security strategy. Now we've seen that the business of being a fourth line is that you're either going to be the benefactor or you're going to be the dependent. This is the nature of the 4th line.

    And it's one of the things to be clear that if you have 4th line in your life, if you have fourth line children, that you have to be ready to make an extended commitment to them. They aren't necessarily going to get the opportunities when you think they should, that the real opportunities that can happen for them in their life may not be on your timetable, you're 18, get out and go to, you know, get a job. In other words, you really have to see that the moment that you have a fourth line child, you have a different kind of commitment, because you have to deal with their dependency, but recognise something, if you don't resist their dependency, it is about not resisting what people are. If you don't resist their dependency, if you don't see that dependency is using you, you know, taking advantage, all of these things that we like to do, because we don't understand. So we create all this language and reasons is that those fourth lines that are properly honoured in their dependency, they will not stay that way, all their life. You know, and when they do become self-sufficient, they are great benefactors. You see, they understand the value of having a benefactor. After all, that's how it begins. And they can be deeply, deeply generous of spirit because of that.

    Now, remember, something most 4th line children, by the time they are teenagers already has parents who want to push them out the door, they do. They do you see, it is in their profile to be alone and their parents wish they would be. And so what happens to them is that they get this enormous pressure on them. And of course, they get this pressure at the time in their life, you take a 4/6, you know, in that first 30 years, all that chaos go out there and do it's not for them. So it's very important that parents understand this, that they understand that they're going to have to deal with dependency.

    And for any of you that have a 4th line in your profile for you to look back and see whether or not you had a valued benefactor in your process. Because of course, it will tell you so much about where you are right now. You know, we have a lot of people in this life who are very tight. And it's one of the things to recognise about the fourth line. You know, it can bring out through its fixedness, this tightness. And unless it's been treated properly when it's young, unless it's been given the privilege of having a benefactor that recognises its need for that, that it can end up being tight and tight with everything tight with money and tight with love and tight with everything else. Because it never had the opportunity to complete its process.

    Because after all, when they do become benefactors, they're the other side. They can be so generous, both have spirit and material. They can become great philanthropists, they can really be benefactors, to society and to other people. They're the ones that form the foundations. They're the ones that open up those opportunities for other human beings. But you can imagine that a lot, a lot of them are really given the privilege of that because of course, if these children had been born with this profile 200 years ago, their dependency time would have been around 13 years. In other words, for parents of that era, it was no big deal. You know, at 13 It was okay go to work, by 13. You know, male or female, they were already you know, bonded together, they may already be living together and they go out and they do their thing. But we now live in an Uranian cycle since the discovery of Herschel of Uranus in 1781. We are part of an Uranian cycle. And what that means is that our half life point is no longer 15 But it's basically 40. So instead of having kids in guilds, learning things from 8 to 13, now we have people in university until 30. The dependency timeframes changed.”

    More on the 4th line children in the 1/4, 2/4, 4/1 sections.

    More on the 6th line children in the 3/6, 6/2, 6/3 sections.