4/1 - Parenting by Profile with Human Design - Notes from The Cartography course
How to use those notes
If you haven’t yet, I’d highly recommend you read the introduction for this collections of notes that is in this post. This is also where you’ll find the index for all the profiles and a gathering of all the notes for each line so you can get a fuller picture for your child’s profile.
✨ Parenting a 4/1 ✨
Practical take-aways from the section :
nurture them young [4]
expect much stubbornness
practice transpersonal skills [4]
expect demanding children [4]
expect to be their friend once adult and for them to nurture you [4]
4th lines need to be nurtured young
“In other words, this is a very fixed geometry, as we know, as long as we're interfering with our lives. It's not that we are interfering with our geometry, you can't do that. But by interfering [not following S&A] with the way in which we perceive the Maya, in which we perceive our movement, we can miss essential aspects that awaken our awareness.
Every single human being has satori potential every day of life. All of us all the time, all the time. Because the moment that you're not engaged in trying to control and interfere with your life is the moment that you're open to its stimulation that you're open to its impact and that you're much more sensitive to what is there. So the 4/1 needs to be nurtured when it's young.
Now the thing about them is they're going to have their own way. So they can appear to be quite different. In other words, they can appear to be quite unusual. And they can appear to be extraordinarily stubborn. Now, one of their ways of dealing with that is by being friendly, you know, the friendlier they are, the less likely it is that people are going to explode on them because of their fixed stubbornness : “No, the world is not flat, you idiot”.
And of course, there they are, you know, solid as a rock. Now, if they do go around the world and discover that you don't fall off, you know, they can die from the shock. No joke, they can die from the shock. In other words, the responsibility, you can see that 4/1s bring parental responsibility much more than any other profile. And it means it's essential to see the need in that dependency to be nurtured.”
Help 4th lines practice transpersonal skills
“Then we come to the bonding strategy, the confidant or not we've seen the pursuer. It's interesting to note that that gift of the 4/1 is that they never give up on trying to find, you know, trying to get that person that will accept their foundation. You know, and when they have a partner or husband or a wife who says, You have to listen to this, this is great. You know, they're in heaven. I mean, they're in heaven. You know, that's what they're looking for. And of course, that's what they also need in terms of the nurturing. These are the kinds of children that while they're studying something, you don't just nod your head at that as a parent. You get involved with them. Tell me about it, explain it to me, you know, what are you learning so that they can get used to articulating and externalising their foundation and they begin to develop those skills that they'll need because they have transpersonal skills in their personalities.”
4th lines need nurturing and can be demanding for a long time…
“And finally, of course, we come to the Benefactor-Dependent but when you look at the one underneath, at the unconscious level at its humanity, you can see that it's driven by being a self-provider, its dependency is not going to be as extended as the 4/6 as an example. Nor is it going to be as extended as the 2/4. Because underneath here, you have a deep deep need to be a self-provider.
Now, of course, if you nurture this being properly as a child, and you give them a solid foundation, they're actually going to get out of the house pretty quickly, they might be 30, you know, save you 10 years. So it's one of those things to see that they will really need to have that solid foundation because that's how they're going to make their living in life.
I mean, it's also part of it, it's not like, it's only one tract, in the sense of what they know is what they have to put out in the world. It's also about them being deeply involved in their career, and being able to build on that foundation in their career in order to be healthy beings, then they can become self providers.
The difficulty that you have with the 4/1 is that the 4/1 child, see, look, when you're dealing with the 4/6, or the 2/4, they can be embarrassed about their dependency. In other words, there are moments where they can actually feel uncomfortable, that they have to be dependent now doesn't last long, you know, but it is there in them.
The 4/1, on the other hand, recognises that it's it's right, it covets the dependency, it says I need more for this. And I have to have all of these, and I don't really, why don't you? Why don't you get me my own apartment next door or something, you know, whatever the case may be, they covet the dependency. You know, they really say I need this, I want this, I have to have this. And of course they pursue it. You know, they go right after it.
They say “I want that. And I want that”, and they have to have it. Now, if you're living in America, or you're living in most Western countries where we have a an extraordinary level of affluence, many of these things are possible. But the consciousness of the parent, there is no way that that's what's going on out there other than through luck. Because otherwise, it's either their luck or deep, deep, deep love.
Because of course, they are going to be very demanding as children, and particularly 4/1s, and not only they're going to be demanding as children, but they're not likely to be understood well. And after all, they're neither this nor that. So that the 4/1 child is kind of like, yeah, “where did this one come from?” You know, this, this one came in on a strange line.”
… And 4th lines will return it to you later in life
“So nurtured properly, that's the theme that we leave behind and leaving behind the fourth line is to really see how important it is to recognise that the 4th line needs to be nurtured as a child, that it's going to be dependent, and yet to reward that dependency is to be later to be able to benefit from its benefactor capacity. In other words, if you nurture these children, well, they are wonderful children to have in your adulthood.
In other words, these are children that can be very beneficial, they will return the energy. That's the beauty of them, they do not, you know, turn their backs on those who provide for them, they will respect that. And they will love that in a very profound way. They will love those people in a very profound way.
Very often it's grandparents, you know, grandparents and grandchildren have a great deal in common genetically. And very often, particularly in in, in our society today, often because of the financial toil of living in Western society. A lot of 4th line children are held by their grandparents, you know, the grandparent throws in a little extra money for, you know, the expensive school or whatever the case happens to be. But it's so important to see that these children that they need nurturing.”