The Happy Mess Project

View Original

The good side of the connection themes

[Ra on the good side of each connection theme]

Ra: These rhymes don't leave much room for good relationships, do they? They do actually. All of them do.

After all, these names ‘9 and 0 nowhere to go’ if you have the right person, why go anywhere? You can be locked into them forever. There is great potential in that.

8 and 1 have some fun, yeah, good; the two of you exploring the world together, fighting the good cause together, and doing things together, whatever the case may be.

The 7 and 2 'work to do,' well, doing the work is very satisfying. You ask any couple that is a 7 and 2 who survive long enough and they'll tell you it was worth it and it was interesting to go through that process because they end up probing each other much more deeply, as an example.

And 6 and 3s, yeah, sure it's better to be free, but it doesn't mean you have to be free. But it does say that you're going to have to do even more work than the 7 and 2, and you're going to have to do that work in a way in which you're not going to have the same quality of dependency that will arise in different kinds of configurations.

There is no such thing as a negative configuration. But the not-self in and of itself is negative.

This is the beginning of the problem. Every single aspect, every design, I can look at any design and I can describe it as if Jesus Christ was walking again, because quite frankly, every design is like that. But the reality is that we don't live that. We don't live the correctness of the potential. We are not surrendered. So, all of these things turn out to be quagmires. If you go and do surveys of couples, you'll discover right away that there are a lot of problems out there in the way in which human beings deal with each other.

Source : Partnership Analysis (2005)