Motivation dynamics in bonds

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Recently, someone who often asks questions that light up my body in a very cool way (hey Gabriel 👋🏼) inquired under a post sharing this from Ra about color :

“COLOR

Q: Ra, I was wondering how much Color has to do with looking at compatibility between people. Would that operate through resonance and harmony, or do we look at Colors between people?

A: Well, there’s no question that Color is enormously important in our relationships with the other. But these are nuances. We can keep on going down to all kinds of levels and see at certain levels dilemmas. But there’s no question that Color is about Motivation and it’s about the way the Personality is going to be motivated. It’s always an advantage to have somebody that is going to positively motivate you in your life. It isn’t necessarily anything that’s guaranteed.

Again, it’s really about you and how you enter into things. But there is no question that it’s important to pay attention to. Anybody who is a significant aspect in your life, aurically speaking, somebody who is present a lot, that it’s important for you to see whether or not they bring out Color transference in you or they reinforce what is your true Motivation. That is, in fact, going to be very important.

Hopefully you see that from understanding auras in this way, to be able to see that the impact that those kinds of things, the kind of conditioning is going to vary depending on the way in which auras work, the way in which people operate with each other.”

(Shared via Chaitanya FX and then relayed by Sparkly Heretique in a group about the study of relationships)

Gabriel asked for an example illustrating the second paragraph of the answer. Here’s what came up : there are 3 things I see him talking about here.

The first is that entering a bond correctly, by following our S&A is the non-negotiable way to make sure the other person will trigger our true Motivation rather than our transference. One of the many reasons why he kept harassing us about those fucking S&A 🤣

Then, there’s a second piece he doesn’t get into details here but does in many other places. A distorted frequency attracts distorted frequencies. Our not-self attracts the not-self of others, and vice versa.

The third piece he also get into other places is that someone with our transference as Motivation will naturally pull out more easily our transference. Especially if they’re themselves in transference because of point no.2 but just mechanically too.

Ok, now, for the examples, I have 3 that illustrate all of the pieces. I have a partner who has Innocence motivation, and a dear friend as well (my true Motivation too, “me”). I have another dear friend who has Desire as a motivation (my transference, “dumbest me possible”).

Both the bonds with my Desire friend and Innocence partner were entered incorrectly. I’ve always known I was wired for struggle (28-38). But fuck, those first years I spent with both were quite hellish at times. We loved each other very much, and we were all striving towards more authenticity, alignment, whatever you call it and both clearly helped.

But, now, with mechanics explained, it’s so obvious what made the bonds hell was the constant transference both parties were in. I was leading and initiating change SO much with those 2 energy beings (my partner is a M ffs 🙄🤣). My partner was stuck in a desire to be the best partner he could be, completely abusing himself, interfering with his natural initiation-ness, my Desire friend would be stuck in false Innocence trying to prove she could be a great friend and please me by following my lead. It was awful in so many ways… 🥺🙈

The opposite of “influencing each other positively through colors”… Until the bond was broken and re-entered correctly.

It happened first with my friend who moved away. I let her go, it was just too painful and exhausting to keep the bond going. And when she came back years later, it was like building another bond. It was incredibly more easy. We were both struggling. We still are sometimes. Her Power view and Desire motivation pulls out way more easily my own transference and distraction, it’s really easy to notice now that I know what to look for. And we don’t have easy gate mechanics either : my channel of struggle also compromises 6 (!!!) of her 38th gates. My Sun/Earth 43-23 compromises her too. Her 1-8 compromises me. She’s emotional and I’m not. She’s a sacral with defined G and I’m not. Our Ego gets defined together. So much of this is hell in not-self. And the sort of overarching hellness, the one easy to catch is transference.

But more S&A involved give us that protection to a certain extent and that ability of finding more alignment naturally in our interactions. She teaches me SO much about how much I’m terribly unequipped to be the amazing leader she can be, she learns how much being uninvolved and aloof is not her path. Now, the only guiding I do is the one she explicitly asks for, which led her to her experiment, at her own pace. I got to feel even more recognized, cherished in our bond, and she does too. So even if mechanics are less “on our side” as they could be, we finally get to truly benefit positively of our bond, and that happens partially through color.

She was actually the first person to show me relationships didn’t have to be a *constant* struggle. Which of course, as a Projector, was so essential to my path towards more Success 😍🥰

With my partner, we have both Innocence as motivation, and a Personal view and yet, it’s so easy to see retrospectively how much it didn’t help at all through our first years of incorrect bonding as I mentioned before. His Desire would lead him to not initiate, mine to initiate constantly. And I was drowning in bitter depression and him seething in that melancholic anger. Until we broke the bond and re-entered it correctly. Again, since then, it’s like being in a completely different bond. Being a split bond, only with compromises (a LOT) and only dominance on his side. Still not an easy bond mechanically. And yet, it’s my most precious connection (and vice versa), and one of the ones who nourish the best my Innocence and his. Lately, there’s not a day when we don’t have one of those moments where one will point out the other’s not-self lovingly in a way where we’ll both get to develop more awareness and find more peace (for him) or success (for me). Correctness and color doing their magic. ✨🥰

And then you’ve got my Innocence friend whom I am spending half a day in call almost every week with. She’s the only one of the 3 with whom I unknowingly entered a bond correctly. I was expecting massive learning curve, as always. But she was the first one to teach me that bonds could also be pretty easy, even if they do include some struggles on the way (she’s a 3/6, I have the 28-38, let’s not get carried away expecting correctness to be a sort of paradisiac la-la-land 😂). One of the nicest parts of our bond is how much it nourishes naturally both of our Innocence motivation. How much over and over, we’re learning that sort of humming life makes when it’s more aligned. And of course, the more we get both correct, the yummier it gets. The more we both get to learn that false leadership of ours is so yucky and damaging. The less it’s pulled out through interactions. I’m not even talking about how eating per our determinations and being more in our correct environments (so, alignment with color too) made us do giant leaps in terms of both our ease together, and separately. So here, my take on what is like to influence each other positively through Motivation and correctness (or not!). 🤓